I had traded since mid 2009 and I had all the ups and down. I started off badly, tilting a lot, then good streak with consistency, then suddenly blasted a hole in my account, then consistent again, then another blast, till I'm very tired. Getting the hang of it, but its trendin down.
My poker ran super badly for past 2 weeks. From the post before this, I had the even worst run. This is exactly like the start of my trading journey. The never ending struggle. I used to think about some traders who started off by saying "hey lets give trading a try, maybe about 3 years, if I can't do it I'll take it as getting a lesson in the college or something and move on". My thought about this thought is "hell, why would they even think about quiting? shouldnt they try their best instead of thinking about giving up?"
I used to think I was strong becuz no matter what catastrophe me and Bottle went thru' (and is going thru' for me), I never had "give-up" in my dictionary. But recent bad runs was driving me to the edge. I read De' Trader's blog today and I felt how he felt, of course he's a bigger scale as he is trading full time, but I can understand he going thru a tough time right now. Some times we all need a break, pick ourselves up, re-collect our thoughts and then pick up the sword and fight again.
I probably need a break, my stars account is drying up. I had a few trades today and none of them works out. My Oanda is back to red and thats just me.
My bad runs were grinding multi-table full ring cash games. My fall I supposed was too loose, calling a lot of cards playing too much starter cards (juz like overtrading?). then I lost streak in tourneys (SNGs). and then I went to play heads-up and lost. I didn't know which one to proceed from here? should I practice my full-ring cash games? stick to touneys? or focus on HUs? or should I uninstall pokerstars/metatrader and hit the books and study? Maybe I should juz wrap a towel over my neck and juz plant the crops and feed some pigs or fish, so that I have better sleeps at night.
My head get heated up easily like how I lose in trading. I go tilt and bang bang bang. I almost punch a hole in my window beside me last Saturday afternoon for bad beats. I can't control myself I am not fit to do these. We are humans, we are bound by emotions, we can't control so we should unleash it. Unleash my anger. Im changing to wireless mouse so that I can throw it out the door. I take trading/holdem too personally as I lost every dollar for every dollar. It makes it even tougher looking at result in terms of dollar.
Gonna take it slowly for now.. and we'll see how it goes.
This is a short update, I'll do weekly updates and for friends there feel free to follow us on twitter @blacknbottle !